


Stay

by FreeShavocadoo



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Complex Relationship, M/M, Redemption, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 09:55:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15816555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreeShavocadoo/pseuds/FreeShavocadoo
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke both have a lot of reflections on their tumultuous relationship. Sometimes, though, some good can come from all of the bad.Inspired by the song; 'Stay' by Rihanna.





	Stay

_All along it was a fever,_

_A cold sweat, hot-headed believer._

_I threw my hands in the air, said show me something,_

_He said, “If you dare, come a little closer”,_

_Round and around and around and around we go,_

_Oh, now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know._

It was hardly a foreign thing, for Naruto to find himself at odds with Sasuke. Like the sun and the moon, yin and yang, they were always bound to be two sides of the same coin. Where Sasuke in his isolation decided to seek out revenge for fulfilment, Naruto instead chose to inspire himself and others and found fulfilment in his journey to be Hokage. Sasuke, as rigid as iron, was more likely to break before he would bend. Naruto was malleable, though not naïve, contrary to popular belief. Growing up an orphan left a certain reliance on others, something Naruto had in abundance yet Sasuke didn’t have at all. Perhaps Naruto was naïve, to think that Sasuke would come back to Konoha, to come back to him and live comfortably. He can’t ignore that growing up without parents is different to having the memory of them alongside the memory of their death, the absence of a brother that meant the world to Sasuke that was the cause of such trauma. Yet, making allowances for Sasuke was no doubt what had caused him to slip through their fingers all those years ago, telling him they’d wait for him rather than trying to console him, to _understand_ him.

If there’s one thing Naruto could do, it was understand Sasuke.

It didn’t matter how many times they’d traded punches, when the need for jutsu had passed, when it was no longer a matter of basic fighting but a primal urge to just make someone _understand_ , to make them acknowledge in a way words would never suffice for. Swinging punches and kicks at Sasuke and receiving them back was second nature at this point and even though it brought him no joy, there was something familiar about it. For all of the people who they’d lost between them, in these moments, they still had each other. They still had _something_ to focus on, still had someone that cared enough to go to these lengths.

They’d been like this for years after all, old habits did die hard. It seemed the fate of their world relied entirely on their game of back and forth. Neither were willing to give an inch to the other no matter how much they craved it. Sasuke was confused as to who he was after years of seeking revenge that was now baseless, isolated in a way he hadn’t even been in Konoha. Naruto was better than he’d ever been in terms of ability, people finally accepted him and yet a part of him was always going to be gone as long as Sasuke was. It was hard to let go of the first person to accept you.

 

_Not really sure how to feel about it,_   
_Something in the way you move._   
_Makes me feel like I can't live without you,_   
_It takes me all the way,_   
_I want you to stay._

As if the universe knows, when Naruto closed his eyes at night sometimes he could see Sasuke covered in needles, protecting him from Haku when Naruto could barely protect himself. Then, they are at the Valley of the End and Sasuke is telling Naruto he’ll sever their bond if it will excel his sharingan, that he’ll cut off the only family he’s known to fulfil his revenge. It takes months for the image of Sasuke through blurred vision and rain putting his forehead protector on Naruto’s chest and walking out of sight to leave him, like it was easy. Two and a half years without Sasuke and it was still difficult to wake up without jumping forward, attempting to grab Sasuke in the end of a fever dream as though he could keep him there, hands outstretched and skin slick with sweat.

Two and a half years and Sasuke places a hand on his shoulder, familiar but foreign, his sword raised and his eyes swirling with hatred. Even the feeling of Sasuke’s chakra, once so recognisable is barely a shadow of what it once was, reeking of revenge and a darkness that would only consume him and everyone else. The same Sasuke who once treated him with the same indifference he did everyone else, which was better than the disgust and fear that had followed Naruto since childhood. The same Sasuke who had been annoyed by Naruto’s dream of being Hokage, yet pushed Naruto to be better and got stronger himself as a result. When Sakura tells him later that she can’t believe Sasuke would do such a thing, Naruto knows better. Sasuke was capable of a myriad of hateful things because he was shaped by hateful and deceitful things- reminders of his past were a reminder of weakness to him. It was _exactly_ like Sasuke to want to kill them all.

In a way, it’s very symbolic of their team’s relationship. The third time he sees Sasuke after he’d left the leaf village, he’s slashed across the back in an attempt to save Sakura’s life. Sakura who is so desperate to match the boy she daydreamed about with the teenager standing in front of them with a bleeding eye and a laugh full of malice. Naruto has been told time and time again his hopes for reconciliation are naïve, yet he’s not naïve. Sasuke isn’t beyond redemption from everyone else, yet Naruto knows that Sasuke is on a precipice he will no doubt drop off into a pit of self-loathing he may never escape from. The despair Naruto had as a child, the despair he had learning of his parents fates, seeing the village almost crumbled time and time again. That despair will pale in comparison to Sasuke’s. Perhaps Naruto is naïve for wanting to save Sasuke from this before its too late, but then again, Naruto is also on the precipice.

Familiarity in the way they run at each other once more, rasengan and chidori in their hands, longing in their hearts. _If I’d taken one wrong step, I might have started thinking the same dreadful things as you_ , Naruto says, _I felt relieved I’d found someone like me. You became my goal._

“I’m not going to change.” Sasuke says, resolute in his revenge, in his darkness. As though Naruto isn’t hellbent and weighed down by his insistence to see the good in everyone.

“I’m not going to be the hero that kills you.” Naruto replies, also resolute. The years that could’ve shaped him into a killer, a vengeful and hateful shinobi, are passed. He’s fought through it all for himself. Perhaps now it’s time to fight through it for Sasuke.

They’ll probably die in an attempt to prove their points to be true, anyway.

 

_It's not much of a life you're living,  
It's not just something you take it's given._

_Round and around and around and around we go,  
Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know._

 

Even after the world had practically almost ended, when they’d all but defeated an opponent that was beyond anything they’d ever imagined, it always came back to Naruto and Sasuke. Fighting in a way nobody else could ever dream of, pushed to the point of barely conscious, giving whatever they have left for each other. When Sasuke asks why Naruto does all of this for him, friendship is barely even a conceivable answer for Naruto, anymore.

“When you feel pain, I feel pain.” Naruto says simply, as though he hasn’t spent years waking up with tears in his eyes and pain in his chest, alone again. It was hard to explain that even having all the friends he did after years of solitude, all of the support he’d dreamt of, that it was nothing compared to Sasuke. Someone who understood him, completed him. How could he ever live knowing he’d let the one person to acknowledge his pain and accept him regardless, before any of his strength of physicality truly materialised, slip through his fingers? To let Sasuke go would be a defeat Naruto would never recover from.

Admitting defeat for Sasuke is difficult, but nowhere near as difficult as seeing the blue eyes usually brimming with hope and happiness lined with tiredness and pain. Perhaps none of it was really worth it. Sacrificing the family he finally had over the family he’d lost seems ridiculous now and the shame practically swallows him whole, begging Naruto to just take his rinnegan and let Kakashi finish what he couldn’t. If atonement was the way, the only viable and obvious solution was death for him. Yet, for what seems like the hundredth time, Naruto says he’s not giving up on Sasuke and it’s almost too much to handle, the pain of his injuries nothing compared to the pain he knows he’s put this boy through. This _man_ through. _Naruto has had to mature this fast to stop me_ , Sasuke thinks, _and look at how I’ve repaid him._

It’s not their first kiss, yet it is the only one worth mentioning for Sasuke. It’s wet with tears and the salt stings his bloodied lip yet all he can feel is Naruto, warm and inviting and loving in all the ways he’d wanted but never known he’d needed. By the time they’re healed, Sasuke can’t bear the thought of seeing all of their eyes on him, knowing that he can hardly expect anything but judgement when he’s been so fast to do so himself. Naruto takes his hand, squeezing it and walking with him away from the general commotion unnoticed. It’s behind a huge stone wall that Naruto wraps his fingers into Sasuke’s dark hair and kisses him like it’s another fight their life depends on, Sasuke’s arms moving around his waist without a second thought. It’s like they were always meant to be like this, left needing and wanting so hard that it hurt to be both near and far from each other. The need to breathe barely seems comparable to the need to kiss Naruto back, to show him how he feels even if he’s barely capable anymore. Yet, as the dutiful and loyal person Naruto is, he gives it right back without question.

_Not really sure how to feel about it,_   
_Something in the way you move,_   
_Makes me feel like I can't live without you,_   
_It takes me all the way._   
_I want you to stay._

The Konoha torture and interrogation force is no doubt meant to intimidate him, even if he’s not being used to extract information. After all, the war is over and he’s just being held until they can determine what to do with him. Although deep down, part of Sasuke still wishes to die in an attempt to atone for his sins, he knows Naruto would never let him. And just as he always has, Naruto creeps up on him without even trying to. It should feel like it did when he’d left Konoha the first time, a hand on his shoulder that he always assumed was threatening to drag him back. Instead it propelled him forward and kept him safe, somehow pulling him back at the last second before he fell into the abyss so many Uchiha had fell into before him. Sakura visits frequently and though Sasuke is thankful for her acceptance, it means barely anything to him compared to Naruto’s. How can blind acceptance and forgiveness compare to a forgiveness that has suffered and been stretched so thin it's a wonder it survived? Naruto’s love isn’t conditional, it isn’t dependent on the goal that one day Sasuke will be obtained. Though Sakura may mean well, Sasuke has not been the boy she idolised for a long time and it would be wrong to assume he was. She deserves better and he deserves nothing.

In the midst of it all, Naruto has managed to get him pardoned. Though Sasuke feels he should be anywhere but here, it’s hard to look away from Naruto’s beaming grin and watery blue eyes, and when he hugs Sasuke so tightly he’s sure he’s going to bruise he can only cry with Naruto, because all of their childhood was spent suffering due to others and then suffering due to each other. Sasuke is under no illusions that he’s the one that caused most of the pain and yet Naruto apologises regardless for not helping him sooner. He wonders if his clan would’ve suffered their fate of spiralling out of control if they’d all had someone like Naruto, even if he was too stupid to realise how lucky he was at the time. He doesn’t intend to take it for granted now, as Naruto pulls him by the hand back to his apartment with him.

 

_Ooh, ooh, ooh, the reason I hold on,_   
_Ooh, ooh, ooh, 'cause I need this hole gone._   
_Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving,_   
_'Cause when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving._

Curled up on Naruto’s small bed and staring up at the ceiling is slightly nostalgic, though his heart still hurts a the thought of Naruto still sat in here alone every night regardless of how accepted he’d gotten over the years. When Naruto shifts a little in his sleep, curled up so closely to Sasuke that his leg is wrapped around Sasuke’s and his arm is wrapped tightly around Sasuke’s waist, he smiles as though he’s aware of what he’s doing. Being able to lift his hand and run his fingers through blonde hair is calming to Sasuke, filling him with a serenity he no longer thought himself capable of. He’d forgotten how little physical contact he’d had over the years, especially affectionate contact. He’s sure Itachi’s dying breath and poke on his forehead doesn’t count, or even Itachi’s reanimation resting his forehead against Sasuke’s own. Then again, Naruto always gave him a fulfilment he lacked elsewhere without even trying.

“What’re you thinking about?” Naruto yawns, lifting his head up from Sasuke’s chest and staring at him with brilliant blue eyes that are still droopy with sleep. As usual, the sight is both amusing and oddly endearing.

“Everything. Nothing.” Sasuke replies, allowing himself to truly look at Naruto this close, the way his skin is beautifully tanned and his eyes seem to shine even in the dark room, his hair falling around haphazardly.

“What the hell does that even mean, Sasuke?” Naruto stretches, curling around Sasuke even tighter and it’s so much in just the right way that Sasuke starts crying suddenly, like everything is catching up with him. It’s the gross kind of sobs that shake his body violently and result in choked noises, yet before he can even attempt to speak if he were even capable of it, Naruto is there.

“It’s okay, Sasuke.” He says, so simple, so lacking in any grand explanation or gesture. He wipes away Sasuke’s tears with soft hands and shifts their positions so now Sasuke is the one lying with his head on Naruto’s chest and it feels _right_. He runs his fingers through Sasuke’s hair, lightly humming, the sound making Sasuke’s eyes droop and his breathing lull down. Before he finally drifts off into deep sleep, he hears Naruto’s voice.

“I love you.”

_Not really sure how to feel about it,_   
_Something in the way you move._   
_Makes me feel like I can't live without you,_   
_It takes me all the way._   
_I want you to stay, stay,_   
_I want you to stay._

**Author's Note:**

> My favourite Naruto ship and first Naruto fic. Feedback always appreciated!


End file.
